The Most Beautiful Cloud in the World
by MearlDox
Summary: Sick humor. Tai/Fu, ??/Fu. Parody. Let me know whatcha think?


The Most Beautiful Cloud in the World

  
  
  
  


"Yo, Fugen." Taikoubou sat down beside the sennin, and swung his legs over the edge of the flying rock. "What did you wanna see me about?"   
"Bou-chan, thank you for coming." Fugen beamed at him.   
"Of course I came! So, what is it?"   
"...... It's a lovely day today, isn't it, Bou-chan?" Looking over the clouds surrounding the other mountains in Konron, Fugen gave an approving smile.   
"Uh... yeah. You didn't invite me here just to talk about the weather, didja? 'Cause I kinda..."   
"Bou-chan.... can I... can I tell you a story?"   
"Huh?"   
"It won't take long, I promise."   
"Well... okay."   
"This is the story of a man and a cloud..." 

Once upon a time, there was a man who worked in the fields every day. He worked hard to feed his family and make sure they were safe and happy. One day, as he was taking a break in the field, he looked up at the sky. And in the sky, the man saw the most beautiful cloud in the world.   
He immediately fell in love with the cloud. Suddenly the cloud seemed more important to the man than anything else in the world. As the wind blew the cloud away, the man followed, leaving his family and home behind.   
The man walked for hours, following the beautiful cloud. He travelled through forests, waded through rivers, walked across valleys. As night fell, the man watched the cloud via moonlight. Days passed, and the man walked on, his eyes only leaving the cloud long enough to hunt for food in the wilderness. The man grew thinner, but he didn't stop to rest at all, for fear the cloud would escape him.   
Finally, the man began to climb up a mountain, in the cloud's path. He reached the top of the highest mountain in the world. And, standing atop the mountain, he called to the cloud at last.   
"Beautiful cloud! Please, wait! I love you more than words can say, and I can't live without you! Will you please come to my home, and stay in a beautiful bottle, and be with me always?"   
The cloud answered, "But I cannot stay in one place. I am a cloud, and I must travel, so I can bring happiness to everyone who sees me. I will bring rain to farmers, and shield people from the heat of the sun. Children will laugh and see animals in my shape. If I stayed in a bottle, then I could go nowhere, and do nothing, and I would vanish."   
The man understood the cloud's words, and that it would be selfish for him to keep the cloud to himself. "But, please cloud, will you return to my home someday, that I can see you again?"   
"... I must not, for at one sight of me you chased me here and abandoned your family. But my brothers and sisters in the sky may comfort you, and I will never forget you."   
The man was very sad, but he slowly made his way down the mountain, and walked back to his home. As he stepped into his home, his wife and children all hugged him, and welcomed him back. And then he understood that his happiness was not with the cloud, but in his own home. And the cloud went on to bring happiness to the rest of the world. 

Taikoubou sat silently for many moments after Fugen finished. Finally, he spoke.   
"... So you're saying you wanna start dating other people."   
"Oh, no, Bou-chan! What I meant was..."   
".........." Taikoubou stared.   
".... well..... yes. That _is_ what I meant."   
"Fugen!!"   
"I'm sorry, Bou-chan."   
"And what the hell do you mean by 'most beautiful cloud in the world,' anyway?!"   
"Bou-chan..."   
"What's wrong with our relationship? I thought everything was going great!" Taikoubou half-scowled and half-pouted. "Just last week we went fishing, and before that we went peach-picking, and before that we..."   
"That's the point, Bou-chan," Fugen said quietly. "We've only been doing things that you want to do."   
"But... I thought you liked doing things I liked."   
"I do, Bou-chan, but sometimes I'd rather do something that _I_ enjoy." Fugen gave Taikoubou a gentle smile. "I'm not upset, Bou-chan, I understand that this sort of attitude is in your nature. And I've found someone who wants to do the things I enjoy."   
"What? Who?!" Taikoubou crossed his arms. His bunny ears waved in the breeze. "It better not be Youzen, he's always..."   
"Hey, baby. Are you ready yet?"   
"...." Taikoubou turned to face the figure standing behind him. His face paled. His lips puckered. His eyes narrowed. His ears stood up straight.   
Outenkun grinned.   
"FUGEN! You can't date him! He's pure evil! And he's _blue_!" Taikoubou's arms waved wildly.   
"Bou-chan, you don't have any right to tell me who I can and can't date." Fugen's paopei appeared out of thin air, and he hugged it close. "And Ou-chan matches my hair."   
"But he's _evil_! Look at that face! Look at the piercings! Look at those little beady eyes!" Taikoubou gestured wildly at a nonplussed Outenkun.   
"It's wrong to judge people based on how they look, Bou-chan. It happens that Ou-chan and I are going to look at a new exhibit in the Seiki Museum of Modern Art this afternoon, then we're going to go to a poetry reading."   
".... Outenkun likes poetry?" Taikoubou eyed the gothic elf.   
"Of course I like poetry, stupid. Everybody likes poetry." Outenkun scowled and shoved the deformed face away. "Get lost, I'm ready to start my date with my new boyfriend."   
"Fugen, you can't...!"   
"Bou-chan, I can make my own decisions," Fugen said firmly. "Now, Ou-chan, let's go."   
"Sure thing, baby." Outenkun opened a portal and gestured for Fugen to step inside.   
"No! Fugen! Wait! I'm sorry! I don't care if you dump me, but not for him!" Taikoubou ranted. Fugen sighed and stepped through the portal, ignoring Taikoubou's cries. Outenkun smirked back at Taikoubou, then followed. The portal vanished behind them.   
Taikoubou stood alone. His ears began to waver. His eyes widened. His lips trembled.   
"_Noooooooooooooooo_!!!"   
  
  


The End...? 

  
  


Since I posted this in the middle of the night, after reading a review I decided to add a little more in the way of author notes.   
I dunno where Fugen's story comes from. ^^;; I probably heard something similar at some point or another, but for all I know I made it up.   
This fic was mostly intended to be a parody of a lot of Tai/Fu fics I've read where Fugen seems to be a helpless little creature at Taikoubou's every whim. ^^; So in this, he's asserting himself in a silly way. I know, I know, the pairing would never happen. But it's a parody. I guess you could say it's a dream piece or something, if you like...   
*lol* Actually, it's funny, this silly piece got a very good intense review. ^_^; Domo! 

-- Mearl Dox   
http://www.planetcolu.com/predestination/ 


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